In a hope..

So here I am after a really long break.I had planned to do a lot of things during my semester break and I havent done any.I eventually dropped out the plan of making my list of new year resolutions/things I want/to do in the coming year.I didnt find the time to even finish a 200 page novel I have been holding on to for months now.Thats how preoccupied I am but if you ask me to list out things that keep me busy throughout the day,its the usual engineering student life and a little bit more of say a tv series(Friends/Big Bang).

Whats wrong with me?! I have absolutely no time for myself,to have a relaxed day with no where to run to/things to do/college,etc.I actually had a pretty relaxed time in Muscat and then when I had that period of time off I totally forgot that I have to make my list/blog/finish my novel.BLAH! I was just lazying around looking at the two new parrots at home,gold fishes in the aquarium,playing chess with my 13 year old brother.I am glad I taught him how to play and now he is extremely good for a 13 year old.Was surprised see him play a few games with me,the way he took things so quickly out of my hands.
Proud of him,atleast I can still play my favourite indoor game years down the lane at home with him.

Oh yes,I started with this post to mention about Shahrukh khan coming to Bangalore for a global quiz organised by IIPM.I didnt care bout the quiz but yes my long time wish of seeing him live came true last evening at the Koramangala indoor stadium.A day I'll never forget - 8th February.Now that this has happened once,I am in a hope it will happen once more in the years to come.

I am hoping to post more often,I am hoping to read more.In a way they could be related.

PS: Option of uploading pictures side by side not working on blogger.Something really wrong,actually even my phone/net acting a little cranky today.

So for the time being,this is all I got to say.

I'll get back soon.
Cheers.

Departure..

First things first, Happy new year. I dont know if this year is gonna be a happy one or no but then again I like having some hopes. So right now I am sitting at the Blore international airport making use of their limited one hour wireless.Finally I just have one more semester to go before I can call myself an engineer.Blah.I dont know if thats a relief but I am glad 4 years of this journey is coming to an end.

Maybe because I was born in blore or maybe the good times I have had here.Everytime I leave this place, I am sad. Even if its for a week for my yearly trip to kerala or presently my trip to muscat I am never in my high spirits.The moment I reach my next destination I have started my countdown to be back in blore.Once I am done with my engineering,if at all I am not in blore I wonder how I'll feel.

I was supposed to be posting earlier with my list of new year resolutions/thing I want/to do,etc.Just when it was new year eve I fell sick,viral fever.I still dont have my list,I dont know if I'll get the time to make one this month.I'll have it ready once I am back in blore on the 2nd.

Its time for check in so I'll take leave now.

Miss you blore very much fr a lot of reasons.

Orkut Jerk!

Half way through the Vtu War and now I cant wait to be done with the rest.I dont recall when I was actually free last.When did I go for a movie or had a chilled out time?! Whoa, I cant seem to recall at all.Arrghh, vtu really has its effect!

So how did the exams go so far?! No,I am neither a nerd or really bothered bout explaining how they were.I'll talk bout something else.

New year is just round the corner and like always I am trying to make a new list of resolutions.Ofcourse all of it I cant keep upto,but the list part I will do.I am going to even make a list of things I want/want to do the coming year/years etc. I am still working on it,so far just got some two points.So whenever it has enough points I'll put it up.


Oh yes now coming back to the topic.Some Ass$%&* has made an Orkut profile with the same display pic I have on my blog.My cousin calls me one evening to tell me that she has accepted my friend request n Orkut,a Social networking site.I used to be on that site years ago but got rid of it so this news was something! I went ahead to check the profile using my Cousin's id.Best part is that he did have my pic as his display picture and had 83 friends then! I went through the list of his friends, I didnt know even one guy/girl in that list.Totally random ppl.I ran a search on google images and realised that he got the pic from google images as my blog is public.At first, I thought I'll report abuse but then I thought let him do what he wants.He cant get hold of any more pics and I cant run behind some ass who is that jobless.So I deleted him from my cousin's profile and asked her not to accept any more requests from him.Smart and desperate he is,he sent her a couple of requests after that repeatedly.Such a #$%*head!


My condolences to Sunil's family and friends.May his soul rest in peace.We miss you.

Computer Lab :)

Computer Programming and Simulation Lab
(7th Semester VTU war)


I just managed to get the easiest program to execute.I was still not very sure of getting the output.I never intended to while I was mugging them.Anyways as I got the easiest of the lot(Pure LUCK!), I thought I'll try to execute it.It didnt happen and I called ma'am to ask her what could possibly be the problem.

Ma'am: ' Rahul,you are very lucky today! Pls check the loop once again.

I thought for a while.went thru the program once again.I definitely couldn figure out anything to do with the looping statements.I called the external guy next.I dont recall his name but he was from RV.He reminded me of Selvi's brother,his actions and speech were so similiar to hers.BTW, Selvi is the lady who teaches Food Technology.

Rv chap: 'Check the loop,your program is right'
Myself: (You idiot,I dont know jackshit about C or C++) 'Sir, I checked but I dont know where is the mistake.

He looked into the monitor for a while and then he made a correction.He asked me to execute after that.It worked,I got the Damn Output and that means I am sure to pass.

Rv chap: 'Come for Viva.'

Myself: (Prepared my viva-smile)

Ma'am: 'Rahul hates programs sir.He is a very bright student but doesnt put his complete effort.Today he is a very lucky boy to get this program.

Rv chap: 'Rajan,is she right?!'

Myself: (Smiling still)' Yes sir.I have tried my level best to understand programming right from 11th std.I havent and I really dont like the subject.'

Rv chap: 'Its great that you can actually mug the programs and write in paper without a scratch'.

Myself: (Still smiling even though my jaws are aching now,its been ten minutes)

Rv Chap: Carry on with your Simulation.


I finished my simulation in another an hour or so.I really didnt care if I didnt have the right values for simulation.I was very happy that I am going to get away with this lab anyways.

Myself: 'I am done Ma'am'.'
Ma'am: 'You can tell goodbye to this lab and hopefully programming for life,Rahul'
Myself: 'Thank you very much Ma'am.'


Curtains down!:)

My luv since a long time...

Let me recall the first time I actually started liking dogs.I think I was bout 6-7 years old when I first met Gypsy.He was my uncle's neighbour's dog and I used to keep seeing this pomeranian barking and running around.I used to enjoy watching him play and gradually I went ahead to ask the aunty if I can touch him and play with him.He turned out to be friendly,I am sure if he wasnt then I wouldn have gone near any other dog.i used to find excuses to go to my aunt's place just so that I can jump into my neighbour's compound to go meet gypsy.
Time passed and one day I heard that he died, I was in Saudi then.


It was always a dream to own a dog of my own and take care of it.It was in 11th standard that I finally got home a 35 day old Dobermann Pinscher.He was red and tan,not the usual black and tan.I had named him Spike and he was the best.He was very obedient and damn cute.Unfortunately I dont have any pics of him.When he was 4 months old he started to get a little on the ferocious side.Even if my mom or grandmum shouts at him he used to snarl back and get into the attacking position.I had to get down from my room to make him listen or to even tie him up.It was getting difficult when he refused to shit/piss outside when I used to take him out for a walk.He had to do it in the terrace.His aggressiveness was not very welcome esp when talks like if I am not at home grandma wont be able to handle him.He used to bark non stop if guests were at home even when he was tied up in the terrace.His senses were that sharp,ofcourse he is a Doberman! One day with great difficulty and pain we decided to give him away to a breeder.It was a very emotional day and even my grandmum held him with tears rolling down.We gave him away and that day itself we thought we'll bring home a more mature dog that can be handled.

Me and My mum fell in luv with a very obedient Golden Retriever.He was about 1 year old and totally trained.He was no replacement to Spike but we brought him home.He was a great dog.He would do his business only if he is taken out for a walk,which lead to the next problem.I had horrible timings back in Puc,I used to leave home at 6 and return at 6.Till then he wouldnt dirty anywhere.I was making it very uncomfortable for him to hold his nature calls for a straight 12 hours.I couldnt do anythin to my timings and there was no one at home one particular week.I was very upset and didnt want him to suffer in this manner.I gave him away too and requested the breeder to place him in a good home.I didnt want anything in return.Bruno,he was called.Wish I didnt have to give him off that day.I really wish I hadnt done that.Its been a regret.



Miss you Bruno..



That day I decided that I will own a dog when I have the time for it.I will make time for it when I am settled in my job.I feel really helpless when I go for these dog shows and cant bring a pup home.If I bring home a dog I want to give it my time.

I am particularly in luv with Rottweilers and Dobermanns.Boxers too,there is something bout these tail-less dogs.



(Pic: With the Dobermann Pinscher)



I have been in luv with the Rottweiler breed for 5-6 years now and thats going to be the dog I will pick up one day even if I have to pay 30k.The wait will be long but I will pick up a Rottweiler pup once I am settled in life.




(PIc : Rottweiler )

Post Internals.

I havent had the bloody time to spare for a post from a long time.After multiple reminders on my phone I thought I'll do it soon after my 3rd round of internals.Unlike previous semesters this time for once I am glad about the way the whole internals season.Everything went as per plan - the last minute notes,group discussions,etc.


During Process Integration test:

Scene - Test just started and I am still reading through the questions. Samitha. our HOD walks in.

The next moment I knew she will call out my name.She has this major dislike and I knew that she will definitely try to irritate me.

HOD: 'Rajan,pls cum to the first bench' (First try to irritate)
Me: (I just nodded)


After 5 minutes she switches off the fan


Me: 'Ma'am can I have the fan switched on,pls' ( I made sure I squeezed in that word pls)
HOD: 'No,its pleasant out here.There is no requirement of the fan,you continue writing. (Second try to irritate)

After 15 minutes,she is just walking around in the corridor and decided to drop in yet again just to irritate.

HOD:'Rahul,pls sit properly'
(And yes success,final irritation)

Bloody hell I have been quietly sitting there right from the start and still she will find ways to nudge me for something or the other.

Oh yes, I forgot one more time she wanted to irritate. I am just done with that test and I walk out to check the notice board.There she popped out again,god knows from where.

HOD:'Rahul Rajan,pls leave the dept.Your friends will finish and come down'

Arrggh..So bloody irritating!


Now the grind is finally over and the struggle to finish studying for the coming up exams is gonna be hell esp now that it is winter.The bed is so inviting for a long 12 hours sleep.

I dont get the freaking time for anything at all and how does time pass by, I have no clue! Its just the same thing day in and day out.I am eagerly waiting to be done with college,get out of this whole monotonous daily routine of going to college,attending classes,labs,records,assignments,internals,etc.I want a change and I am hoping it is a good one by the time I am done next june.

I wanted to review the novel I picked up months ago but am sure now I wont have the time to do esp when I am flipping thru ten pages during the morning Crapping session.I am still struggling to finish it, I think I am half way through it. FYI the novel is called 'Of course I still love you till..I find someone better'.The author is some ex student of DCE(Delhi college of engineering), I dont recall his name.Maybe next time.

Meanwhile I have finally got my hands on the Knight Rider series with the Ford Mustang GT500.I used to watch it when I was a kid,guess it was a Corvette then.I totally loved cars from that day! Once again I dont get time to watch so now I club it while I am having my dinner or sunday lunch.I stopped watching the tv and now finish one episode of the famous car series daily.

I did watch two episodes of Jonathon Miller's - A brief history of Disbelief.I will feature about it in a post sometime later when I have time on my hands.

Various other things have been in my head and mind is never in peace.I am trying not to get worked up about things and just letting it be or even letting it go.I was never this way before,used to be the very carefree kind.It did affect my studies and now when I finally got hold of my studies I want to have the old me back.Rest of the time atleast.I am working on it and it might take a while.

Want to have that one calm late evening on the beach.Probably listen to the track 'Knocking on heavens door'.This is going to take a few years though.I must learn the guitar by then.Will play and sing for just myself.Definitely want to be alone then with no hazzles in life or tension.Hate handling pressure or take tension about anything.

For the old me,later than never.

Sayonara

Views on Religion

Recently I was going through my cousin's blog and I came across a very strong post. The post was titled 'Ridiculously religious'.Atleast he is sure he believes in god and hope he exists. I have been thinking about the existence of god for years now and everytime when people ask me if I believe in god I really didnt know what to say.There are times I have said yes and sometimes I have said no,not very sure of what I was saying every single time.What came in my mind then, I let it out in words if I really had to answer anyone's question.The next likely question would be 'Why dont you believe in god?!'.That's where I used to get stuck,I didnt have any answer then nor do I have an answer now.Yes definitely there are Holy books from each and every religion that says God exists. So how many God's really do exist?! Each one for every religion?! The fact there is only one god makes a lot of sense when you keep hearing people say 'The All Mighty'.

Back in my school days in Saudi there were verses of Quran being recited as a part of the morning assembly.We used to always have a translation to the original verse in english.It always said 'In the name of the all mighty,the most gracious,the most merciful'.I dont know what the Quran says but atleast they believe there is an all mighty power.There is some sense in Islam.Everyone who is a muslim believes in Allah.

Once again back in Saudi there were these prayer groups,christians.Some made lot of noise whereas some were the silent praying kinds.Here nothing makes sense,there are different groups! People who believe in Jesus,those who dont,those who believe in god knows what,those who wear jewellery,etc.I failed to understand all this over years and over time I have found most beliefs really ridiculous! Oh yes,once for easter I had gone to this church(more or less like a huge workshop converted to church), I had been forced to go for it.It was a couple of years back,I really didnt gain anything from going there than just raising hands up in the air and shouting out loud 'Alleluya!'.No idea what that meant but yes I found it weird and I decided that I would never go to such a church again.I do find a lot of peace going to the Infant jesus church in Blore,its quiet and its very relaxing.

Coming to hinduism,I am still very clueless about different gods, god names, their incarnations, their respective stories,etc. Its humanly not possible to keep track of all this. I used to enjoy watching the Mahabharatha but still the details very hazy.

Its been a few years now that I have been analysing things on my own.I dont believe anything just coz its been done in the world.Maybe its all true,maybe partly is and maybe nothing at all.I dont know.I used to think I am an Atheist at some point of time i.e I dont believe in the existence of God.Later I thought that it was too strong a term when I still do things I am supposed to/asked to like going to a temple,pray for a few seconds in the Puja room on the considered auspicious days.I dont have a problem doing such things nor really mind them.Atleast there is nothing wrong in all this,I cant sit and explain myself to everyone.Instead I just do things that are supposed to be done, it will definitely avoid people from considering me a social outcast or against god or anything stupid like that! It gives me some kind of peace being in specific temples like ISCON and the Shiva temple in blore.Its calm and there is something about the place.

There are days I go alone to a temple just coz I want to and not coz I have been asked to.I dont like being told anything more than once.I take a long walk,sit on the temple floors listening to the bhajans playing,people sitting with their eyes closed lost in thoughts or prayers,etc.Its very refreshing once in a while.

I am an Agnostic.

(An agnostic does not deny the existence of God and heaven but holds that one cannot know for certain whether or not they exist)

Afterall I am a science student,I need experimental proof.


Disclaimer: If I have hurt anyone's feelings/emotions/beliefs,it was not intended and I apologize for the same.